Saturday, February 5

XP Reduced Spyware Edition

EU Nixes 'Reduced Media Edition' Name (BetaNews):
The European Union Commission is apparently not amused with the naming scheme Microsoft has chosen for its upcoming version of Windows that is free of Windows Media Player. EU officials have requested that Microsoft name the operating system so it is more appealing to consumers.

Well, let's see: My XP Pro-powered mobile blogalization machine hangs, hangs, hangs, hangs, what the hell is going on? Finally, a movie trailer for Alien vs. Predator begins in full-screen mode. It requires multiple clicks to stop the fucking thing. Final insult: "Install skin? Yes No." No. Fuck you.

Therefore, I propose that the EU force Microsoft to market the product as XP Reduced Spyware Edition, or Enhanced Privacy Edition.

In the interests of fairness, I try to base all my Microsoft-bashing on my own user experience as a fairly tech-savvy English major. It's not hard.

My computer is not a television. It is my personal space and I reserve the right to control the allocation of its processing power. I accept ads on the public TV networks because they are readily muted, and I have the option of ad-free programming by paying a premium to my cable guys. Also, TV is generally something I do when I am NOT trying to be productive. This Window Media spyware is fucking with my productivity curve and making choices about allocation of resources without my specific opt-in. I need my media player to go directly to that earnings report I need to absorb before I interview someone on the phone in 30 minutes.

Here's a marketing angle for Redmond: Let's call it XP Ownership Society Edition. A man's CPU is his castle. A woman has the right to control her own extended electronic body. Don't you think? Appeals to Waco-traumatized red staters and Net libertarians alike ...


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